A Guide to Intimacy for Long Distance Lovers
Navigating a long-distance relationship presents its own set of challenges, yet with a proactive approach, it can evolve into a potent and deeply enriching experience with your lover. In the physical sense, it’s true your lover will not be with you but this does not mean you have to halt how you move sexual energy and loving longing through you together.
We live in a day and age where technology brings us together in an instant with wifi connection. Time and space is essentially collapsed to bridge the gap, going beyond the miles between you.
With a tantric twist, let’s explore the ways we can unlock deep and meaningful connection and potent intimacy through the screen with your long distance lover…
Communicate Openly
If open communication is not a regular practice in your relationship, it may feel awkward to bring up the topic of phone sex. To ease into it, you can hint at your longing for them by sending a flirty text, letting them know how much you miss and want them. At some point though, bringing through some directness may be needed. Once you’re on the same page, lay down the foundations by discussing your desires, intentions, boundaries and comfort levels with this practice. Communication in relationships is a practice, remember. It’s not always easy to begin with but with practice, it becomes easier.
Build Desire
Leading up to your phone sex sessions, throughout the day, exchange playful, sensual and sexual messages, perhaps with a touch of fantasy, to build the desire within you. Listen to each other and maintain a sensitive awareness of how each of you like to receive this kind of attention and what words and scenes turn each of you on. Creating a strong psychosexual connection encourages a more intimate experience. Truly listening to one another and wanting to understand is a very powerful practice for developing this kind of connection.
Creating Sacred Space
Spontaneous phone sex is great, but if you’re one to plan, get into the mood by creating the space for the practice. Clean up, organise your space, light candles, burn essential oils and one of you choose soothing music to play in the background. Embellish yourself, put something on that makes you feel sexy, luscious and desirable. Robes and lingerie can be a delicious place to start. The intent is to create a sacred space where you can both explore each other's fullness of presence and desires without distraction from the surrounding environment.
The Gateway
Use modern day technology to your advantage. Technology allows us to essentially collapse time and space when it comes to connecting with one another. Once upon a time, lovers had to send romantic notes to each other via ships sailing across the ocean. It would take weeks and months to reach their intended destinations, if they did at all. Don’t take the opportunity for connection with your lover for granted. Video calls provide an immersive experience with your lover due to being able to see them as well as hear them. Platforms like Whatsapp or FaceTime can be a great gateway for your intimate sessions. Having said that, there is something pretty special about limiting the gateway to just a phone conversation. It can be highly titillating as you discuss what you’re doing without the other seeing, as if you are blindfolded in a way, being triggered to use your imagination.
Conscious Connection
You can incorporate tantric practices into your phone sex sessions by beginning with synchronised deep breathing and maintaining a gaze upon each other’s eyes through the screen. You can practice organic, tantric sensual yoga together to open up your bodies. You need not move in the same way, rather, move to open up your spine, hips and heart space and release your neck and shoulder tension. You can also breathe into your chakras together, from base to crown, to activate your energy bodies. These techniques enhance the emotional and energetic connection, deepening the experience beyond just the physical and psychological levels.
Express Your Vocals
Genuine words of desire and sensual vocals are powerful tools for intimate connection. Feel the pulse of the moment and express what your body is yearning for and the sensations it is feeling through sounding your pleasure. You can use sighs, moans, words, song, laughter, whatever feels lush and liberating for you. With this kind of energetic expression, it’s sure to spice up the experience for your lover as they hear your cries of ecstasy as well as empower you. What does your body ache for and long to explore? Vocalise it. Moan it into the space! Encourage reciprocity without judgement of self or the other. This is natural and a beautiful way to feel more embodied with phone sex, which is a form of intimacy that can often feel very boxed and limited.
Create & Play
Tap into a creative and playful mindset during your intimate phone sex sessions. Imagine scenarios that excite both you and your lover. Weave in words to paint a picture unfolding between you two in the moment. Bring in props and accessories like feathers, boas, whips, cuffs or other sensual toys that enhance the sensory experience. Change positions in front of the camera, explore different ways of touching yourself. Allow the inner performer, exhibitionist and voyeur out to play.
Aftercare
After your tantric phone sex session, think about your aftercare protocols. Check in with each other, discuss your feelings, reflect on what unfolded and how it affected you. Express your love for each other and your gratitude for your shared, co-created intimate experience. Doing this post intimacy nurtures your bond and ensures you both feel valued, appreciated and loved.
Going beyond the physical, tantric phone sex allows you to explore so many other facets to your relationship, the emotional, spiritual and sensual. By prioritising open communication, creating sacred intimate space and conscious practices, you have the opportunity to develop a profound connection with your lover. This experience truly can be one that supports a deepening of your bond. So, I invite you to explore it with your long-distance lover and harness the beauty of intimate connection that conquers the challenge of physical distance.
