Her Sexual Reawakening
Women’s sexuality has been suppressed, exploited and abused throughout time. We didn’t know what power we held or we got drawn or pushed into a deep disowning and eventual forgetting of it. On top of this, our genes have been tagged with the memories of our ancestors and everything they experienced, which actually influences our behaviour, impulses and emotional patterning. This means for us that we hold within potential predispositions to trauma and fear reflexes, accepted adaptations to abuse, tendencies for too much openness, lack of boundaries and repeated heartbreak, the holding of deep grief, despair and desperation from life’s adversities over centuries. All of this.
The suffering most women of the past experienced did not have the chance to be truly acknowledged, integrated and fully healed. It’s only really in these current times, especially in the Western world, that we have safe and supportive spaces to actually address and explore these themes and find this healing we deeply need. To arrive at this point, we have fought for our freedom of expression and to break the binds of oppression of women so that we can live out our lives with empowerment and connection to our spirit and our sacred sensuality.
As women, it is still up to us to take action, to resolve the pain and fear that has been stored within our bodies and reclaim our sexual sovereignty and bliss. It’s high time to address our fears and clear the obstacles to enjoying the best of our sexual fulfilment in life that we can possibly experience!
HEALING
There are many ways that we can go about addressing and resolving existing and generational trauma. Ideally we will do best to seek out the safest spaces for that, finding those whom you can trust to share and express what lies deep within. We admit, healing the whole ancestral line of emotional abuse and trauma for women is no easy feat let alone healing an individual’s harm. There’s such a strong pull towards the grip of the familiar, the familiar being the pain. However, the healing process and empowerment does begin when we are courageous enough to shine a light right into the areas that need our love most.
YONI MASSAGE
One powerful and deep method of addressing healing is the Yoni massage. This is a very effective way to bring about emotional de-armouring, softness and suppleness back to the yoni when done right. It is a gentle and subtle hands-on experience of touch to the whole pelvic area of a woman including the external and internal of her vagina. It is a soothing way to address the tension that accrues in our bodies as a result of poor conditioning in areas of sexuality, sexual trauma and mistreatment. So often our intimate reactions can be very jarring to our bodies and we don’t even realise it. When we take the opportunity to address the yoni in a way that comes from utmost respect and reverence for the body and soul, the effects can be beautifully, profoundly life changing. With yoni massage, the primary focus is on healing and safety so one can feel fully relaxed to open and explore the gentle sensations and releasing emotions.
HOW DOES IT WORK?
Firstly, those you allow to provide you with a yoni massage must hold your body, mind and soul in high respect, care and consideration. They should be trustworthy and capable of holding safe space to allow you to discover your own releases, catharsis, bliss and liberation. Secondly, it is all about receiving and truly allowing oneself to drop into a state of surrender wherein the breath moves freely through you as the other holds you and helps you to shift and clear energy and tension in your body. Yoni massage should not involve sex. If performed in intimate relationships, there should always be a dedicated time for yoni massage where the woman truly receives without thinking of when she has to give back. It’s a devotional practice. It is about sacred worshipping of the Goddess within her and bringing the Goddess into her power and radiance. Breathing and sounding are really important.
Part of the release happens through releasing the voice and any inhibitions around making noise or feeling ashamed to express yourself in that way. Also, the breath needs to be powerful and fully present, as that’s pivotal in cultivating pleasure and connection throughout all levels. The massage itself needs to be gentle and soothing. It addresses each specific area of the pelvis and vagina and works to clear any tension residing in all parts. It clears the tension with slow sustained pressure. Breath in the receiver should never halt or become shallow. It needs to remain deep, full and connected, regardless of the feelings that present. Of course, if there is pain, the approach of touch must be especially tender and may sometimes need to halt, but the rewards of persevering past the painful tension into muscular release are definitely worth it.
WHAT TO EXPECT
Initially the experience can feel really uncomfortable as you are in a position where you are truly allowing yourself to receive, in openness and vulnerability. So many women don’t know what that feels like and when they first find themselves in such a position, it can feel incredibly disconcerting, awkward and something they don’t feel worthy of experiencing. The tendency will be to shut the experience down with the thinking mind and numb yourself out to what’s happening in the moment. Be aware of this. It’s about addressing your fears (not being consumed by them) involved with truly receiving and trusting that receiving can be a really wholesome experience, nourishing all levels. It’s about really landing in your body and owning your pleasure. It’s about accepting and welcoming into your sex and heart the full realisation that you are worthy of experiencing absolute bliss that is meant for you, without having to share it with anyone. It’s your divine birthright.
When you begin to shift your limiting belief systems and allow yourself to drop into receiving, you will feel a mix of emotions swirling within you. At times you’ll feel sad, maybe even grief and despair from times past, from feelings of unworthiness. You may feel shame and guilt. We are so often trained into thinking our pleasure isn’t meant for us, it’s meant for the man, so we feel guilty for experiencing it, especially without a man there to please. Sometimes numbness will present. There may be something deeper here that’s not yet ready to surface. Sometimes the energy present will be so peaceful that it naturally encourages a meditative state.
It’s not necessarily about discovering earth-shattering orgasms, though if the intent for that is there it can be worked towards and achieved. However, try to let it be more about a process of letting go and evoking the subtle, gentle and yet deep natural bliss you are fully capable of embodying. Extremes of pleasure can be exhausting if not reached in moderation and respect of everything else happening for the individual, such as whether or not there is a need for calming, quietening restoration to the body or whether the mind is in any state of panic, gridlock or disarray.
The practice should essentially cultivate your sexual energy and encourage it to shift throughout your body, your chakras and energy pathways to bring rejuvenation, clarity and connection. Following the session, in the days and even weeks to come, you’ll be different, feel different…irrevocably... in a really wonderful way. You may feel emotions tingle out to the surface. You may cry, but they will be cleansing tears. You may feel anger and discover the reasons why it is there so that it can be resolved and released. Let it be revealed and face up to it. You’ll feel stronger and more inspired to face up to things. You might feel weird, unusual, in a state of non-belief as you acknowledge how surreal it all is, this process of shifting your energy and truly bringing healing to your body. Truly bringing growth to your soul.
