Fantasy or Reality Love
Do you have ideals in a partner that you are looking to check off your
list of desires of a partner or are you open to them being who they are?
Do you truly see who is right in front of you with your current partner?
Do you have your eyes open to the beautiful, unique and eccentric qualities
about your partner or is perception of them focused upon the negatives,
so that it’s easier to not open your heart to them and actually love them?
Do you have a fantasy love that you are trying to find?
Do you feel disenchanted by love and your lover if love
drops into the mundane reality with real life challenges?
Do you find it hard to open your heart to love?
Do you find it easy to let the fire go cold on the early beginnings of love with
new partners because your expectations of how love should be are not met?
Do you know if your idea of how love should be is based upon a fantasy or reality?
These are all important questions to ask yourself on your journey with finding love and commitment in partnerships. True love comes about from finding someone with who you want to share your life experiences with, with who you see can add to and amplify your experience of life. It comes about through commitment to seeing experiences with your partner through, regardless of the challenges that present. It doesn’t come about from finding someone with who you expect to fill the emptiness or neediness inside of you. Nor does it come about by trying to pursue a fantasy love and finding potential partners you think will fit that narrative.
Idealisation is a psychological and biochemical process in which we form fruitful illusions about another individual, exaggerating their positive qualities while ignoring their imperfections. Usually when we first fall for another person, we have a strong tendency to idealise the love interest, seeing them as more talented, beautiful and charming than they actually are. Idealisation is common as we choose to escape from harsh realities that surround us - but it only leads to one dead end called disappointment when we face reality after finally choosing to open our eyes to truth.
To be in touch with reality in love is crucial if we want to develop a relationship that considers, loves and honours each individual of that relationship. It is so important for us to look at our other from the very beginning as they are, not how we want them to be. If you truly listen and see into the soul of your significant other, the relationship can be pure from the start. In this way, there is no room for disappointment. Love develops from reality. Love should not be delusional. Love developed from reality allows for firm foundations in the relationship, which creates the potential for longevity of the relationship and also the capacity for the lovers to transcend into deeply and uniquely healing, restoring and uplifting soul connection.
