Is She Faking Her Orgasm?
Women faking orgasms is actually very common. This might be disappointing to hear but it’s better you know it now than going forth in vain whilst being fooled by an orgasm actress who is tricking you to your detriment and hers, little does she realise.
Why is it so common that women lie about orgasming?
So many women are uncomfortable with being vulnerable, very often taking time to orgasm, much longer than most men, and also struggle to reach orgasm at all.
To fake it is easier…. in some ways. However, it ruins the potential for deep connection because deep connection requires authenticity.
There are a lot of factors that influence a women’s comfort in sex, lovemaking, and foreplay. Let’s look at a couple of main ones.
RELUCTANCE TO BE VULNERABLE….
To orgasm requires at least some degree of vulnerability or full vulnerability. This is because it affects the whole nervous system and spirit of an individual and therefore compromises full alertness in the present which is what women most often have to be in order to survive and stay safe. Exploration of sexuality steps away from the fundamental law of the primal kingdom — mate to procreate — and in order for it to be rich, satisfying, and adventurous, the right conditions must be present. For a woman to allow herself to be vulnerable means that with the other and in the environment she is in she would have to feel safe and supported.
Being vulnerable involves a surrender of yourself that is a softening of all parts of you and a placing of trust in the experience and the other participant to hold the space secure as you explore what it means and feels like to embody orgasmic bliss. This is a massively overlooked aspect of lovemaking. If a woman doesn’t feel safe, she won’t let herself be vulnerable and to vulnerable, even if only somewhat, is the only way to orgasm.
THEY DON’T WANT TO TAKE THE TIME FROM THEIR PARTNER THEY NEED TO REACH THE HEIGHTS OF PLEASURE AND ORGASM….
Sweet but not really. This is self-sacrificial behaviour and for the sake of balance and equality in the relationship, I don’t stand by this.
It can feel like an embarrassing process to take so long to open your body and to focus on orgasming. Please know that
if your sexual partner is worth your time, energy, and love,
they will be so happy to accommodate your sexual practice
and needs!
Speak up and learn to ask for what you need and desire.
A woman not wanting to take her partner’s time, especially if he is a man, could be related to the self-sacrificial nature women from girlhood are raised to embody. It’s the dark side of the patriarchal culture we live in, where men at all costs, must be pleased and boosted over and above all. If a woman is not performing to his liking and indicates he may not be very good in the bedroom then she could easily be discarded. This is because she’s of very little value to him if she makes him feel insecure about his position in the world which really comes down to his own insecurities with being vulnerable and his lack in skill and intimacy knowledge. This type of man I speak of is someone who does not know what it is to be genuinely humble, to be open to learning new things, to love or to nurture, and give in a way that does not involve pleasing or receiving for himself. So the proud, selfish, and unloving types.
HER PARTNER IS SELFISH…
Relating to the above, a woman may not be able to orgasm and fake it because her partner doesn’t bother to invest the time into listening to her body and pleasuring her enough to help her reach that level of heightened ecstasy. This is not good enough, for anyone.
There should not be any expectation for her to orgasm as quickly as him. The masculine needs to be the rock of resilience in the bedroom so that he can last the distance until she gets there and meets him in ecstasy. This involves him learning body control and holding strong focus and determination for her to help her get there. Her eyes captured in his strong gaze also helps a flitting and anxious mind, which always threatens to distract us from the moment. This ego needs to be pushed aside, regardless of whatever fear or trepidation one has around the sexual practice and opening with and for a sexual partner. It gets in the way of a deep and true loving connection.
She doesn’t know how to reach an orgasm. Maybe she’s never had one!
So this one comes down to education. She needs to learn about her own anatomy and sexual soul and what her body is capable of.
Here’s a solid starting point:
A steady and rhythmic breath that travels right down into the pelvis and cycles around the whole body with visualisation in sexual practice anchors you at the moment. This is the very beginning of what we need to do to start building orgasmic potential for powerful orgasmic states.
Then… You must focus upon the sensations that you experience in the moment and follow where these sensations flow to deepen connection and presence with your body and ultimately your sexual partner.
Faking orgasms means we fall so far short of experiencing deeply authentic, primally powerful, sexually fulfilling, divinely blissful moments of loving passion with one another.
DON’T FAKE IT!
Learn how to be true to yourself and take responsibility for your sexual pleasure.
You deserve to live in bliss.
